Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson More Popular Than Elmer Fudd

photo (3)When I was about seven, Elmer Fudd was the funniest, most interesting, and only popular duck hunter on television. And it remained that way up until recently, when “Duck Dynasty’s” Phil Robertson’s anti-gay marriage comment shot his network’s show and his popularity up by the millions overnight. Crazy, right?

Maybe. But what’s crazy is how many people were shocked that a reality show would do something controversial —  most reality shows rely HEAVILY on controversy to increase money and popularity a la The Kardashians. Many news channels and online articles (cough cough) are trying to publicize his remarks, but where exactly is the surprise and controversy? We can’t really expect an uneducated, conservative duck hunter to be shouting open-minded liberal beliefs, right?

Wait …he has a Master’s Degree? WHAT?! 

I find this to be the most interesting and funny fact about this ordeal: an old, well-educated, anti-gay marriage duck hunter. I mean, there are many well-educated people against gay marriage who support conservative beliefs …like, most of our Congress members. But what does this really say about our educational system? The most important thing to take away from this incident is that education alone doesn’t teach people about being good humans; that is something we learn through personal experience. Clearly the educational system lacks this sort of enrichment, because there is no monetary profit from people interacting with each other. But there is profit in school fees, book fees, and anti-homosexual comments on a network show.

So basically what I’m saying is that the educational system  is more efficient in creating obedient workers devoid of worldly human experience. And that Elmer Fudd will always be my favorite duck hunter because he didn’t care about anyone’s sexual orientation.


ObamaCare Is Approved. Estrogen Is Given Proper Respect.

The Affordable Care Act, nicknamed “ObamaCare,” approved free birth control and healthcare for nearly 47 million American women last Wednesday.

I grew up in a conservative Indian household, which also means I had never seen what a vagina looked like until I opened up a sex-ed textbook for the first time in the 9th grade. Since 95% of Indian media is based around the notion of marriage, there was a heavy belief of marriage in my family. If I got a woman pregnant, not only would I have gotten a traditional ass-beating, my parents would have expected me to marry the girl…on a henna-decorated elephant and all!

A lot has changed since my first sex-ed class in high school. Fast food chains that have a stance on gay marriage is one thing. USA has the highest rates of sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy in the developing world, yet is 27th in the world for mathematics. When you live in a country where the majority average is 3 divorces per household, and teen pregnancy numbers exceed pregnancies of married couples, something was clearly missing from our curriculum of sex-ed: the sex-ed. It’s better to have access to actual birth control, rather than relying on pictures of blue diseased vaginas, illustrations of penises that looked like tropical fungus, and photos of aborted fetus to promote abstinence. Most STDs do not manifest physically throughout an individual’s lifetime.

USA has the highest rates of sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy in the developing world. ObamaCare provided care for over 47 million women across America. So why did Republicans veto ObamaCare 33 times?

We are 27th in the world for mathematics. You do the math.

What does Chick-Fil-A, Batman, and Lego have in common? Gays, that’s what. But let me explain…

I was playing a demo of the new Lego Batman 2 video game, and it SUCKED. Now before you ask why a grown man like me is playing a Lego video game, I should explain that I loved playing with Legos as a kid. I would spend hours building my yellow and green city, and then snap in little Lego people as the inhabitants. The things I would build as a kid were simple, and they meant a lot to me because were things that I wanted to build; not things my parents, my teachers, or my friends told me to build. Everyone lived happily there, except for the pirate. He had obsessive compulsive disorder and the mismatching Lego colors bothered him. When I play with Legos these days with my younger nieces and nephews, I suck at building creative things. I  have trouble building a house because the brick colors don’t match. When I was a  kid, I could build a mansion because I didn’t care what colors the bricks were. Somewhere between potty training and driver’s ed, I accepted someone else’s opinion — that it is not correct to mix yellow and green Legos. Accepting that opinion robbed me of my ability to build a mansion. Sure the Lego are different colors, but they are still Lego after all. Whether we are different — Gay or Straight, Asian or Martian — some people fail to see that we are all still human beings. Maybe someone gave Chick-fil-A the same advice, because they have their all their Legos together with the same colors.