Weekly Q&A: What’s one of the smartest “fat jokes” you’ve ever said to someone?

Hey everyone! Last week, I added an “Ask Me Anything” feature to my site to allow people to ask me questions anonymously.  I’ll pick and answer one question every Sunday evening, and post the Q&A to my main site. You can find the question form here. As the title suggests, you can ask me about anything. So, without waiting any further, here is the first question asked by MapleWarrior42 !

Q: What’s one of the smartest “fat jokes” you’ve ever said to someone?

A: Thanks for your question! Well I think it’s stupid to make fun of anyone for just being fat. It’s like “Oh look! A large person. They’re so large. Hahaha!” That’s pretty dumb, like middle school shit. But if that fat person also happens to be an asshole, then I have no problem calling them an idiotic walrus, wildebeest or whale. Like this one time at a friend’s wedding, we had “classy” girl at our table guzzle nine or ten tequila shots and start acting obnoxious; doing things like destroying furniture, knocking over people’s drinks, and yodeling in drunken gibberish. Normally, girls would KO after that much alcohol, but this girl had an imposing body like a beached whale; so her large body mass prevented her from passing out. And while this is happening, her boyfriend never intervened and no one expressed their disdain. Eventually, some females took her to the bathroom, and the boyfriend started talking to us as if nothing happened, and I said “You must be Ishmael.” “What? Why?” “Because your girlfriend is acting like fucking Moby Dick.”

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