Wedding Cake & 1/8th of Cognac

There’s always something exciting about being invited to a traditional wedding. If you’re already married, you’re reminiscing on stressful yet memorable times. If you’re in a relationship, you’re stressing out your significant other with tentative planning.

And if you’re single, you’re most likely drinking your stress away. Heavily.

At least that was the case for a few people I met the day of my friend’s wedding. My date and I sat down at our table, and I introduced myself to everyone. One of the girls was propping herself up against the wall, and looked like she was struggling to stay awake. As I sat down, she leaned over to ask me, “Hey, are you hung over too?”

Confused, I responded, “Yes. Yes I totally am. How about you?” for no reason. She responded, “Oh man, I am hung over like hell! I partied way too hard last night.”

You decided to consume lots of alcohol the night before a loud Asian wedding? Well done.

Her friend reached over and told her to shut up. She herself had a half empty bottle of Hennessy sitting in front of her, with two full shot glasses of liquor. She eagerly asked me if I wanted to take a shot, and I politely responded “No thanks.” She then proceeded to cheers herself and take both shots. Something told me she wasn’t having a really good time either.

She passed the bottle over to a guy sitting next to me. Probably not a good idea since he was already radiating with Asian glow and cursing. He was so miserable, that instead of pouring eight individual shots for everyone, he tried drinking eight shots himself; almost an 1/8th of the bottle. Or at least tried to until he turned into an automatic vomit sprinkler.

“Why was everyone getting so drunk?” I thought. And then it hit me– not the vomit luckily.

Another group of girls at our table caught my attention. They started explaining to the rest of the table how infinitely happy they are in their current relationships, and justifying the absence of their  boyfriends  at the wedding, while gossiping about the insecurites of their female friends and how Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s divorce will affect the vibes of the cosmos. It was like being a captive audience for  Dr. Phil mixed with The View.

For some reason, I started to regret the decision of being the designated driver.


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